Trying to pass laws against weapons is an exercise in stupidity. Human beings have the creativity to commit crimes with found objects, and literally anything can be used as a weapon, as a man in South Carolina recently learned.

A South Carolina woman was held on a domestic abuse charge for allegedly stabbing her common-law husband with a decorative ceramic squirrel when he came home late on Christmas Eve without any beer.

According to the police report, Williams’ 41-year-old husband set out to buy some beer late Tuesday night, but he returned home empty-handed because the stores were closed.

That enraged Williams, according to the report, and as her husband set about making himself a sandwich, she picked up the ceramic squirrel and conked him over the head with it. Then she stabbed him in the chest with it, the report said.

The man’s name was not reported, perhaps out of fear of shaming the victim.


Now I have a question for you: as found objects are sometimes used as deadly weapons (like the ceramic squirrel above from Etsy, which may nor may not be similar to the ceramic squirrel used), would her common law husband have been justified in using a firearm to defend himself if she pressed her attack?

I’d have to argue that he would have a legitimate case, through it might be tough to convince a district attorney not to file charges in such an instance just because of the absurdity of the chosen weapon.