Long Duk Dong
Gedde Watanabe as Long Duk Dong in Sixteen Candles. A Japanese dude playing a Chinese dude that wants to be a Japanese dude. Somehow Robert Downey Jr. wasn’t cast in the role.

Chinese police that have only recently begun carrying firearms in response to a series of vicious knife attacks by the Religion of Pieces in their country.

The transition is decidedly not a smooth one in a nation where the police haven’t been armed for several generations, and the problem isn’t helped by the combination of idiotic and anemic revolver selected by Communist Party know-nothings attempting to prevent negligent discharges, laughably absurd rules of engagement, and sketchy training focused on emptying the gun as fast as possible.

9mm chinese revolver
China’s perfectly horrible 9mm police revolver, via World Guns.

It’s the Keystone Cops in Shanghai:

Before they can take aim at a suspect, police are required by law to  identify themselves, issue verbal warnings and shoot into the air. If they do fire at a person, they are supposed to aim for non-vital body parts.

The ministry has rolled out training sessions on firearms, and promises to eventually send 10,000 trainers across the country with each county-level region getting three trainers on average, the official Xinhua News agency said. Police Ministry officials did not respond to requests to be interviewed.

At a recent gun training session for 70 Beijing officers, the Beijing Youth newspaper said the primary goal was rapid firing. Officers were required to fire off six bullets within three seconds.

“We stress rapid firing, as an officer must draw the gun and shoot the first bullet within 1.2 seconds, and the officer must hit the target with the first shot,” a trainer identified by his family name Shao told Beijing Youth.

They’re given a gun with an anemic round and an extraneous safety, very little training (none of it good, apparently), and are given absurd rules of engagement that make police officers more of a threat to innocent bystanders than the bad guys are.

Quite frankly, they’d be better off arming them with swords.