Poor little AR-15. Such a hated and misunderstood tool.

American Thinker published a glorious monologue from the gun in black.

A raw, first person, er – first gun account of what it’s like to be the most vilified and misunderstood firearm in the world:

“Hi, my name is AR-15. Some of you know me, but many more of you know of me — through the media. But you may not know the real me.

I’m that cool, sleek-looking black gun you’ve seen profiled by the press. They put me in newspapers and on TV, showing my picture as if it’s a mug shot, even though I’ve never committed a crime.

The public knows my appearance well; people have seen my cousin and dead ringer, M-16, fired machine-gun style in war movies for decades. But, alas, I, AR-15 — the weapon available to the public — can only be fired semi-automatic. This means that every time you pull my trigger, one shot, and only one shot, is released.

So even if we accept the term “assault weapon,” that’s not me. To qualify, a gun must be capable of fully automatic fire (machine-gun style), and no such weapons are readily available to the public. So unlike cousin M-16, who originally had a select-fire feature allowing him to be shot in various ways, I’m just a one-trick pony.

Despite this, I’ve become a media whipping boy. Even when those rare crimes are committed in which a gun of my class is used, but which don’t involve me personally — such as the horrific Orlando incident, where a Muslim terrorist [name omitted] used a Sig Sauer MCX — my face is front and center.”

Bravo, sir! We applaud the courage it must have taken you to stand up and be so honest about sharing with the world the facts about who you really are.

Well, that is, if an inanimate object could have courage or be honest, that is. One thing is for sure, if this were the “in-depth expose” on some feminist or progressive ideologue in stark contrast to common sense and reality, the left would be cramming this autobiography down everyone’s throats.

As it is, it will most likely be sent around to our friends, colleagues and family who would agree with these facts, mostly because they already know them.

But if Kim Kardashian can become a popular and beloved reality start, we sure as heck can do the same for little Mr. AR-15!!

You can read the complete AR-15 autobiography [HERE]