Thank God that the victims didn’t have guns

Normally, a headline like that would only be reserved for the strongest sort of sarcasm, but just look at the perpetrators of this attempted armed robbery.

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I have a suspicion that if the two “victims” in this attack had firearms that the forensics techs would still be on their hands and knees this evening, trying to find and catalog missing bits of the two attempted armed robbers.

Don’t you feel sympathy for these poor, misguided youth?

Yeah, me neither:

Charlottesville police say two men picked the wrong students to rob at gunpoint. The robbery suspects are behind bars, badly beaten by their victims.

Both suspects have severe injuries to their faces, but the victims – we’re told – are doing just fine. The pair who allegedly attempted an armed robbery had the tables turned on them Tuesday night, becoming victims themselves, so to speak.

Johnny Calderon Jr., 19, is facing four charges: two for attempted robbery, one for pointing a firearm and one for using a firearm in the commission of a felony.

Calderon has a lot of bruising on his face, but he was not as badly injured as Gerald Allen. Allen’s right eye is swollen shut. Allen, 18, is facing a pair of attempted robbery charges.

Police say the suspects, both from Charlottesville, had to be taken to the hospital before going to jail Tuesday night.

The robbery happened along the 2300 block of Fontaine Avenue. When police arrived on the scene, they found two University of Virginia students had beaten up the suspects and detained them.

Combine that with the home invaders that got ventilated over the past 72 hours, and you get the sense that Virginia is a bad place to be a thug.

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