UK Nanny State Means Swiss Army Knives Won't Have Knives

Public domain pictures by Pixabay

The UK already has some of the most extensive gun control laws in the nation, ostensibly created to keep criminals from getting guns and using them to hurt innocent people. It was so broadly supported by the subjects there that they willingly handed over their firearms.

Advertisement

Criminals, however, simply started using knives to hurt people, so the government there decided to implement knife control.

We used to suggest it as a joke, but the UK government clearly lacked a sense of humor and took the suggestion seriously.

In fact, the knife control laws there are so vast that the Swiss Army Knife won't have, you know, knives.

From Vodkapundit writing over at our sister site, PJMedia:

It's a steak and salad without the steak. It's Wham! without George Michael*. It's Presidentish Joe Biden without his teleprompter. Hell, it might even be Biden with his teleprompter.

It's a Swiss Army knife... without that bothersome knife part.

Swiss firm Victorinox has made a huge assortment of its iconic pocket knives for more than a century, going all the way back to 1897. Depending on the size, you might find everything from a can opener to a saw to a magnifying glass and even surprisingly sharp little scissors.

The one thing — two things, actually — you could count on finding in the bigger models were a longer blade of almost three inches and a shorter blade an inch or so long. 

Until now. In Britain. That's where Victorinox will soon introduce "the first range of bladeless products designed specifically for activities where a blade would not be required," according to the Guardian. The reason, if you hadn't already guessed, is to combat ("Word choice!") "what an English judge last week called the 'plague of knife crime.'"

Have they not considered what someone could do with the hole punch found on many of the larger models?

Advertisement

Now, I don't blame Victorinox for this. They saw a need and are stepping up to fill that need. That's how the free market is supposed to work, and if there aren't blades in their "knives," then they can probably sell them pretty easily since there are tons of other useful tools in your typical Swiss Army Knife.

I mean, hell, my wife has had a small one in her purse for the entirety of our 24 years of marriage. Not the same one, but pretty much the same, three-tool model.

What's more, it seems a lot of other people are putting the blame not on Victorinox but on the British government itself. 

See, a move like this wouldn't be necessary were it not for the spectacular failure of their weapons control laws. These were measures meant to disarm the criminals, only they've done no such thing.

What they've done is disarm the British public, leaving them defenseless and leaving them with no recourse than to have to buy Swiss Army knives without the knife--which, as our dear Vodkapundit notes, are terrible weapons--if they want literally any of the other tools associated with the brand.

Advertisement

Great Britain ain't so great these days, and it's the way they keep their people toothless--and that is not a dig on the stereotypical dental care of the British people--while accomplishing nothing.

If gun control had worked as advertised, they wouldn't be there.

And this is were our domestic gun grabbers want to take us.

Join the conversation as a VIP Member