Recalling a Classic: "Read faster or I’ll blast your head off!"

Remember Saturday mornings as a kid? Tip-toeing out to the living room and quietly turning the dial to sit and veg out with some of our favorite cartoon characters from the Surfs to Flinstones to my all-time favorite: Looney Tunes.


Let’s take a look back at some of the things we heard from just one character, Yosemite Sam, as we blissfully munched on dry Froot•Loops and giggled like idiots:

“I sees ya … come on out-a-there ya long-eared blue coat”
“Oooo, I’d like to lay my hands on the lily-livered swab is writ that forgery”
“10 dollars! Why it’s gettin’ so a man can’t earn a dishonest livin’ no more”
“5:15 … I’ll take care of you later, I gotta catch a train … and rob it!”
“Now be there any livin’ varmint is aims to try to tame me? … Well be there?”
“The first dang Yankee that steps out of that dugout, gets his head blasted off!”
“Get a-goin’ … or I’ll blow your carcass right out from under yer hat!”
“Read faster rabbit … read faster or I’ll blast your head off!”
“No more gentleman’s stuff, from now on you fights my way … dirty!”
“Aha!  There ya are ya buck-toothed barnacle … say your prayers”
“Any one-a-you lily-livered, bow-legged varmints care to slap leather with me?”
“Cut it out!  Now drink yer juice before I blows the fur off’n yer hide!”
“Ya double-crossers!  I’m a-comin’ back, and I ain’t comin back to play marbles!”
“Blast your ornery hide, if ya does that just once more … I ain’t a-going after it”
“I’m a-comin’ over the wall after ya … and I’m a-comin’ in a-shootin’!”

Good times…

Now, I don’t know about you, but I didn’t really think it was okay to shoot double-crossers or fight dirty or to blast guns this way and that. I was taught gun safety and right from wrong. I was held to an impossibly high standard and one look from my father told me to knock off whatever I happened to be doing when he shot me ‘the look’.

I was taught to respect, and later to defend, all innocent life. This wasn’t the exception, this was the rule.

Nowadays, kids are so brainwashed by the politically-correct ninnies in charge that they don’t know whether to scratch their iPhones or charge their butts.

It’s not our actions that need to change, it’s just a matter of accepting the fact that children raised by parents who use facts instead of feelings, teaching firearm education rather than deprivation of information on guns, are capable of so much more than today’s society gives them credit for.