Police in Longmont, CO recently arrested a woman for pulling a pellet gun on a public menace. No, she didn’t defend herself against a rapist or armed robber, only to find herself in trouble with the law. Nothing like that. No, this menace is one I feel comfortable saying we have all stared down from time to time.
Longmont police arrested a woman Friday who pulled a pellet gun on a squirrel outside a coffee shop.
Thirty-one-year-old Kylie Morrison was cited for disorderly conduct after witnessed said she pulled the trigger several times.
As someone who has a sworn blood feud with tree rats, I understand the sentiment. Unfortunately for Morrison and fortunately for the squirrel, the gun was lacking one important component. Pellets.
However, Morrison is probably the kind of person who can serve as a poster child for pellet gun control.
A review of the police report by the Longmont Times-Call describes Morrison’s behavior leading up to the non-shooting. Morrison appeared to be “high on something” when she Cafe Luna in the 800 block of Coffman Street. She was talking to herself, witnesses told police, and first sat inside. She then moved outside the business and started throwing items at a squirrel as it approached her.
A witness reportedly tried to encourage the squirrel to vacate the premises but to no avail.
There’s no word yet on just what Morrison’s alleged malfunction is because there has got to be something there. Normal squirrel hatred–and yes, I do think it’s perfectly normal to despise them–doesn’t account for pulling any kind of gun in public, pellet or otherwise, nor does it account for her behavior prior to the incident.
Morrison is currently in the Boulder County Jail, where she apparently has spent a fair bit of time previously.
Morrison has convictions for theft, drug-related offenses, driving under the influence, resisting arrest, vehicular eluding, harassment and escape in Boulder and Weld counties beginning in 2006, according to online court records.
In other words, this is not the mark of your average, ordinary person who just snapped over a squirrel. The drug-related charges, coupled with the description of her appearing to be high on something means there’s a good chance she was strung out on something, though no one should rule out some kind of mental disorder. After all, self-medicating is a thing.
Either way, I’m glad it was both just a pellet gun and that no one got hurt. One would be surprised by the number of people who think pulling a pellet gun in public isn’t a big deal, and perhaps Morrison is one of those. However, pellet guns often look realistic enough that the police do not and cannot take a chance. This could have ended poorly.
The lesson for today is simple. No matter how much you hate squirrels, you cannot pull a gun on them at a coffee shop. No, not even if it’s a pellet gun. This is a good way to end up replicating Morrison’s most recent close encounter with law enforcement.