Yui Mok/PA via AP

The United Kingdom is a joke these days.

The country’s also a cautionary tale about the foibles of gun control. It basically banned guns and guess what happened? Go on, guess!

If you pointed out that crime continued to grow, so much so that now they’re trying to restrict knives, then you win the prize. It hasn’t done a lot of good, either. After all, knives are an essential tool for things like cooking. Everyone has knives, and everyone needs knives.

That doesn’t stop British police from bragging about taking knives off the streets. However, sometimes those brags become hilarious, like this one from Tuesday.

Let’s examine the deadly arsenal the charity shop handed over to police, who then bragged about removing from the mean streets.

First, of course, there are actual knives. I mean, these are kitchen knives, of course. You know, knives people use for cooking. Since poor people often buy things at charity shops, and the charity shops are turning these over to police, I guess it means the poor don’t have access to cooking utensils anymore?

Unfortunately, not everything fell in the knife category.

For example, we have a spoon in that photo. That’s right, a freaking spoon. Not even a grapefruit spoon with its sort of sharp edge. Nope, just a regular serving spoon. I mean, is it possible that it’s included because they’re afraid it would give you tetanus? I honestly doubt it, but I rule nothing out when it comes to British police.

To the right of the spoon, you can see a sword…shaped letter opener. It’s a good thing police are on the case. Someone might be able to open a letter or something, and you don’t want that. I mean, next, they might start reading unapproved speech or something.

The winner, at least in my mind, is to the far left of the image. At last, something used for battle!

Well, sort of. I mean, fencing does have its roots in fighting. Not quite like longsword fencing you occasionally see which still sticks primarily to historical treatises on the subject, but instead has evolved from a martial art for defense and into a sport. The modern-style foil like the one here isn’t a weapon; it’s sporting equipment. Heaven forbid someone gets involved in fencing at a minimal cost or anything.

These “weapons” are nothing of the sort, yet British police routinely show these images as evidence they’re somehow making the streets safer for everyone or something.

They’re not.

They’ve accomplished nothing except maybe deny access to inexpensive cutlery to those who would shop at a charity shop. However, that charity shop deserves a fair bit of scorn, too. After all, they’ve clearly bought into the idea that kitchen knives are a threat to public safety.

Meanwhile, it should be noted that criminals are still getting knives and even guns.

Once upon a time, the British Empire was one of the most impressively sized empires in the history of man. They said the sun never set on the British Empire.

Well, it’s sure as hell setting now. From here, it’s hilarious.