Every day there’s something in the news about someone or other campaigning to restrict concealed carry.

For example, the newly-formed group MDASININE (Moms Demand Action Supporting Irrelevant Nonsensical Insane Nanny-like Edicts) is frequently on the warpath to shame businesses, who want nothing more than to just sell stuff, into the gun debate.

And they’re not the only ones. Federal and state officials – you may know them as bamboozlers in training – are constantly dreaming up new restrictions, laws and public proclamations. All these rules are just as ‘guaranteed’ to make us safer as the rock-solid ‘guarantees’ that health insurance will be cheaper and we can keep our own doctors.

Restrictions vary by geography. If you have a fast enough computer, you can calculate the number of restrictions by multiplying the number of politicians by the number of media microphones within a radius of 97 miles. Some examples of “no carry” restrictions include…

Restaurants. Churches. Public bathrooms. Sporting events. New York City. Political conventions (think about the number of criminals per square foot there!) Medical facilities (even though doctors kill far more innocent people than guns.) Post offices. Buffalo Wild Wings. Staples – or maybe not Staples. Schools. Movie theaters. The St. Louis Mass Transit System that delivered most people to the NRA Annual Meeting. 7-11 stores? Canada. Military bases. My house. Ha! Just kidding with ya.

I can’t for the life of me understand the logic behind restricting concealed carry to reduce crime. To believe that, you also have to believe that those who carry concealed are the root cause of crime. There’s no other way around the logic.

Not surprisingly, the concealed carry community has been proven over and over again to be the safest measurable population group around. More so than priests, active duty police officers, Hollywood intelligentsia, politicians and Amanda Bynes. The crime rate of Mayors Against Illegal Guns membership (sorry, I meant Mayors Against Legal Governing) is orders of magnitude more than that of concealed carry citizens. I can’t prove this, but I hear you have to provide photographic evidence of extortion, fraud or preschool fight club gambling to become initiated into the exclusive MAIG crime syndicate.

A number of states have compiled data on the lawfulness of concealed carry holsters. For example, in Texas, the average citizen is 7.7 times more likely to commit a violent crime than a concealed carry holder, and 18 times more likely to commit a non-violent crime than a concealed permit holder.

One more time. Concealed carry permit holders are approximately 8 to 18 TIMES LESS LIKELY TO COMMIT A CRIME than the average person. Thinking about committing rape? If you aren’t a concealed carry permit holder, you’re 87 TIMES more likely to follow through on that crime.

While I can’t back this up, I suspect that concealed carry permit holders are 312 times less likely to commit a crime than the average uninformed voter. But that’s just a guess – I can only back up that assertion by watching the shocked reactions to the implosion of Obamacare.

All of this got me to thinking. If you believe that restricting the most law abiding group of citizens will help reduce crime, you might also believe…

1. We can reduce the drunk driving problem by banning preschool glee clubs, LDS members, Baptists, Muslims, monks, other general purpose teetotalers and Mothers Against Drunk Driving board members from doing keg stands
2. We can fight lung cancer by outlawing smoking by ill-tempered llamas.
3. We can permanently end the conflict in the middle east by promoting spaghetti Wednesdays.
4. We can lower incidence of teenage pregnancy by showing the Miley Cyrus “Wrecking Ball” video to nursery school kids every day at nap time.
5. We can reduce the national deficit by creating an IRS task force to make sure Financial Peace University guru Dave Ramsey really does use cash instead of credit.

Makes sense to me.

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