Man Allegedly Drops Drugs Out His Rear After Shooting His...Front

AP Photo/Jim Mone, File

If America’s Funniest Home Videos has taught us nothing else, it’s that when someone gets hurt in the junk, it’s funny. At least, it’s funny when it happens to someone else.

However, it can be downright hysterical when it happens to an alleged criminal. That’s what reportedly happened to a Washington state man. But the humor in the situation doesn’t stop there. Oh no, it gets better.

A bungling felon from Washington state made a series of blunders when he shot himself in the testicles and tried to hide the weapon — all while storing drugs in his anus, a report said Wednesday.

Cameron Jeffrey Wilson, 27, was carrying a pistol in his front pocket while in his Cashmere, Wash., apartment on April 5 when the firearm accidentally discharged and pierced his groin and thigh, according to the Wenatchee World News.

Wilson, who is a 13-time convicted felon, told his girlfriend to dispose of the weapon before heading to the hospital, the paper said.

Not a good start for our intrepid individual. Oh no. You see, there’s a reason the report states where drugs were stored.

If you guessed that the hiding place wasn’t as secure as Sparky the Wonder Spud probably thought, you’re right.

When the ex-con finally went to the hospital, a balloon of marijuana slipped out of his anus while a doctor was operating on the gunshot wound, court records show.

Cops also arrived at the hospital when alerted of the gunshot wound and searched Wilson’s car where they discovered a bag of meth in the blood-stained jeans he was wearing when he shot himself.

A master criminal, he ain’t.

Now, let’s be clear. I’m amused by his fate.

I’m not amused by the fact that despite Washington state’s push for more and more gun laws, a 13-time convicted felon was armed. Note that this wasn’t even a particularly intelligent criminal. I mean, he brought a bag of meth to the hospital after he shot himself. He had to know the police would be notified. After all, why else dispose of the gun in the first place?

Yet again, we see that criminals have no problem obtaining firearms despite all the gun laws you want to pass. If Wilson can get a gun, based on what we see of his intellect, then I seriously doubt any other criminal will have any difficulty obtaining one.

Hell, if Wilson could get a gun, I suspect a sea sponge could figure it out.

Once again, gun control fails. Horribly.

The only saving grace is that Wilson only managed to shoot himself. It could have gone far differently. He could have murdered innocent people and impacted the lives of good, law-abiding people. We’re fortunate that he only put a round into his own body.

We’re also fortunate regarding where he shot himself. On behalf of humanity as a whole, I’m praying that it prevents him from fathering children. That particular brand of stupid is something we don’t need floating around in the gene pool.

As it is, we still have Alexandria Occasio-Cortez. We don’t need more.

May 17, 2021 1:30 PM ET