Drive-by shootings are something that I’ve never understood. I mean, I get the idea. You roll on by and open up on your target, all while presenting a moving target to him and his buddies.

What I don’t get is that most of the people who take part in drive-by shootings have a hard time hitting the broadside of a barn while standing inside of the damn thing. They can’t shoot, so why add difficulty to something you already suck at?

That’s why the problem with drive-bys are collateral damage. It’s because these guys can’t shoot worth a flip.

Apparently, drive-by gunmen aren’t necessarily up on the “don’t shoot your own driver” protocol either (allegedly).

CHICAGO (Sun-Times Media Wire) – A man has died after he was accidentally shot by his own passenger Sunday in a Park Manor drive-by on the South Side.

Matthew Gibson, 26, was pronounced dead Monday at Christ Medical Center in Oak Lawn, the Cook County medical examiner’s office said. He lived in Hegewisch on the Far South Side.

Jake Lee, the alleged passenger who shot him, has been charged with aggravated battery with a firearm, and is expected to face a murder count, according to Cook County prosecutors. Lee, 27, of Englewood, was denied bail during a hearing on Tuesday.

…

Gibson was driving about 5:40 a.m. in the first block of West 71st Street when he pulled alongside a white SUV waiting to make a left turn, prosecutors said.

Lee, seated in the front passenger seat, began firing at the SUV with a .40-caliber handgun and accidentally shot Gibson in the head, prosecutors said. Even with the gunshot wound, Gibson was able to drive more than two miles to the 6700 block of South Marshfield. A 22-year-old man was also wounded in the shooting.

Holy crap. I mean, this is just all kinds of special.

I’m not sure if there’s a certain set of rules or understandings that take place when you commit a drive-by, but I’m fairly sure that “don’t shoot your driver” would be one of those no one would commit to paper because it’s just too obvious. “Hey, Joe, I got a rule for the list, man?”

“Yeah, Steve? What do you have?”

“Don’t shoot your driver.”

“That’s stupid. Who would be so brain-dead as to shoot their own driver? Think, man.”

“Yeah, you’re right. My bad.”

Look, I feel bad for Gibson’s family. They lost someone they loved. It’s not clear if Gibson knew what was going on when everything started or if he was just riding with a friend who turned out to also be a violent jackwagon. He probably did, but regardless, they lost a loved one and that’s never easy.

As for the alleged gunman, Lee, though? If he’s guilty, I’d really like for him to get some extra time. He wouldn’t be just convicted of killing his buddy, but also being a complete and total moron. In other words, he failed at pretty much every level of human being it’s possible to fail at. I’m not even convinced he’s all that good at converting oxygen into carbon dioxide at this point.