Woman Accused Of Pulling Gun On NY State Troopers

There are a number of things in the world that should almost universally be classified as “bad ideas.” They include, among other things, talking smack to a professional MMA fighter when you haven’t been in a fight since fourth grade, dating Amy Schumer, and letting your underage female relatives within reach of Joe Biden.

We’re not talking about stuff that’s easy to miss here.

Yet somewhere on that list is pointing guns and gun-looking objects at law enforcement. It seems one woman in New York didn’t get that particular memo.

Two investigators and two troopers went to 77-year-old Gloria Laureanti’s home at 1:25 p.m. looking to arrest the woman’s grandson, who is a suspect in a rape investigation.

When authorities got to the house, they say they found the front door closed and partially blocked by a refrigerator before being confronted by a belligerent Laurenanti.

Officials say within minutes of encountering the woman, she pulled two revolvers from behind her back, pointing them at troopers.  She dropped the guns, which turned out to be cap pistols, when officers drew their weapons.

So, not only did she pull a couple of guns, but they weren’t even real guns.

Frankly, Laurenanti is lucky to be alive. Her age wouldn’t have helped her in the least. Had she not dropped her fake guns when officers drew their weapons, I’d likely be writing a slightly different story. Of course, then those officers would be dealing with the ramifications of killing an elderly woman.

“Oh, but those weren’t real guns. Can’t police tell the difference?”

No, they can’t. No one can. Not in the split second you have to make a decision as to whether or not you should act. You don’t have time to futz around with it and figure out if there’s a place for caps to go in or anything like that. You see a gun, you react.

It’s what anyone would do in that situation.

Laurenanti did one intelligent thing, and that was to drop the toys when the real guns came out.

Yet that was the smart thing in a series of stupid moves. For one, trying to keep the police from arresting her grandson. For another, pulling gun-shaped objects in hopes of intimidating people who have actual guns, body armor, and radios to call people with similar equipment.

Yeah, not a lot of smart there. At least, for her sake, it showed up just in the nick of time. Otherwise, I’m writing a story about a 77-year-old grandmother who got shot in a case of “play stupid games, win stupid prizes.” I don’t think I’d have mourned all that much and like would have still mocked her. Stupid shouldn’t be celebrated, after all.

Luckily, it didn’t quite get to that point, which is why Laurenanti is fortunate. Now, though, she’s been arrested and will likely be charged with four felony counts of menacing a police officer and misdemeanor resisting arrest.

On the upside, prison might be cheaper than a retirement community.