The Washington Post’s Lindsey Bever is upset.

Why?

Author Amelia Hamilton has taken the original Grimm’s Fairy Tales and has updated the self-defense capabilities of the protagonists, and folks, that simply isn’t fair to the witches and wolves of the world.

Imagine a world where the characters from your favorite childhood fairy tales and fables are armed.

Hansel with a hunting rifle. Or Little Red Riding Hood’s granny with a shotgun.

That world now exists on the National Rifle Association’s NRA Family website, which partnered with author Amelia Hamilton “to present her twist on those classic tales” — a series that has infuriated gun-control advocates, some of whom called it “absolutely sick.”

Gun-rights supporters say the stories — which started with “Little Red Riding Hood (Has a Gun)” and continued with “Hansel and Gretel (Have Guns)” — are a more peaceful alternative to the often disturbing fairy tales from childhood.

Bever goes on to note that the gun control supporters have utterly lost their marbles over Hamilton’s retelling of these classic tales, in which the armed and well-trained protagonists are able to self-rescue or rescue others without firing a single shot. Like in real life, the defensive gun uses in these tales primarily rely upon the potential for defensive violence, not the actual application of violence.

Bever was smart enough to work that truth into her article, citing a certain handsome and witty editor that we all know and love.

Gun-rights activist Bob Owens, editor of BearingArms.com, wrote that the first installment in the NRA’s fairy tale series was “a lot less violent that the original tale with no one being murdered, drowned, or cannibalized. “But that bloodless outcome has apparently upset the delicate sensibilities of Media Matters and their audience,” he said, “because Ms. Hamilton had both Red Riding Hood and her grandmother use firearms to self-rescue themselves and capture the wolf.”

Owens further commented on a post by the liberal site Media Matters. “So you would rather have one of the more traditional endings to the tale,” he wrote, “where the grandmother is slaughtered and fed to her granddaughter by a sadistic predator, or Red is violently murdered for being allegorically promiscuous, than have both women confidently and competently save themselves with a tool?”

But these violent endings are precisely what gun control supporters want and need in these stories.

Gun control supporters are invariably supporters of big government, and are terrified of personal responsibility. They must ignore, discount, and assail any story—in real life or in fairy tales—where an average person uses a commonly available tool to self-rescue and defend their lives without the assistance of government.

Gun control supporters look upon government as their benefactor and protector, their shield from personal accountability and as their excuse, frankly, for being cowards.

Hamilton’s fairy tales shows self-reliant citizens who are smart, confident, capable, and yes, armed.

We can’t have that dastardly role model as an example for our youth, can we?