Vandal accuses New York gun club of "cowardly murder" over turkey shoot

Vandal accuses New York gun club of "cowardly murder" over turkey shoot
Neighbor's Gun Club, Facebook

Most of us have probably heard of a turkey shoot before, but if not, here’s your explanation: a shooting competition where the winners receive fresh or (more likely) frozen turkeys as their prize. No turkeys are actually shot during the event; instead, it’s generally paper or steel targets that are getting hit.

I’ll confess that the first time I saw a sign advertising a turkey shoot I myself didn’t know exactly what that was all about, but unlike one woman in Rhinebeck, New York I didn’t advertise my ignorance and commit a criminal offense in the process. Instead, I just asked a friend what exactly happened at a turkey shoot. I was pretty sure it didn’t involve live turkeys since the competition was held outside of turkey season, but my first guess was that turkey-shaped targets were somehow involved.

Rather than cure her own ignorance by stopping in at Neighbor’s Gun Club to inquire about the event, the woman instead unleashed her inner Karen and decided to vandalize the sporting club’s sign promoting their September 24th turkey shoot.

Yes, the “cowardly murder” of paper targets. I’m surprised she didn’t tag their sign for offering burgers at the upcoming competition as well.

How do we know the perpetrator in question is a woman? Luckily, someone in the area managed to snap a pic of the vandalism as it was happening.

There can’t be that many dark blue Porsche Carrerra convertibles around Rhinebeck, New York, which should help police narrow down the suspects considerably. I’d also be looking for someone who didn’t grow up in the community; possibly even a part-time resident whose primary home is still in New York City. Just find the lady clutching her pearls in one hand and a can of spray paint in the other and you’ve found your perp.

We live in the Age of Perpetual Outrage, and my guess is that she saw the sign for a turkey shoot and immediately envisioned dozens of birds packed tightly in cages while bloodthirsty yokels in overalls shot at them from just a few feet away; never stopping to doubt her own self-righteous indignation at the “cowardly murder” most fowl she imagined would soon be taking place.

Unfortunately for her, not only is the anonymous-for-now vandal likely to face charges (or at least a public shaming), but soon the pastures and treelines in the rural parts of Duchess County will be home to plenty of hunters who really are taking aim at her free-ranging feathered friends. The fall turkey season starts in upstate New York on October 1st but doesn’t kick off in Duchess County until October 21st, about a month after the gun club’s turkey shoot is scheduled to take place. She might consider that to be “cowardly murder”, but I call it good eating, and I’ll choose wild turkey over the store-bought variety every day of the year, including Thanksgiving.

This is honestly probably some of the best publicity the gun club has ever received for its turkey shoot, and I hope attendance is high on September 24th. Based on the couple of turkey shoots I’ve attended since moving to central Virginia ten years ago, it’s a really fun way to connect with other gun owners in the area, and in this particular case attendees will get the added bonus of ticking off at least one offended and ignorant anti at the same time.