The penalty for giving family members grief may go up in Illinois.

For weeks, Chicago Police Superintendent Eddie Johnson has sought in vain to get gun legislation passed by the state legislature. Johnson seeks stricter sentencing guidelines for judges deciding punishment for repeat gun felons. You’d think that would be a no-brainer but apparently both sides of the aisle are fighting it for various reasons. Amid the weeping and gnashing of teeth, over a bill you’d think both sides could find common ground, arises the Lethal Violence Order of Protection Act.

You know how you think you come from a dysfunctional family? You worry about your friends meeting your family because they’re an acquired taste? News flash – all families are dysfunctional. Your friends have the same concerns about their families as you do about yours. Remember when you showed your older sister’s naked baby pictures to her new boyfriend and she swore she’d get even? Well, meet Illinois Senator Julie Morrison who wants to make your older sister’s dream come true.

Morrison introduced Senate Bill 1291 in the Illinois State Legislature. The bill would allow judges to confiscate guns without input from the firearm owner. It’s called ex parte and yes, this is still America.

Senate Bill 1291 provides that a petitioner, in this case your still ticked off older sister, may request an emergency lethal violence order of protection by stating you pose an immediate and present danger of causing personal injury to yourself or another because you have, or intend to acquire, a firearm. There doesn’t need to be any hard proof; it’s one of those liberal touchy-feely sort of things. The privilege of dropping a dime on you is restricted to family members or a law enforcement officer. What could possibly go wrong with that?

But seriously, what are the odds that one of your own kin, you own flesh-and-blood would do such a thing? Well, there’s your sister, of course, and think back to last Thanksgiving dinner and, after six or seven beers, all the family members you insulted, argued with over politics, or reminded you make more money than they do.

If Senate Bill 1291 passes, it provides for the court to forbid you from holding, owning, purchasing, possessing, or receiving additional firearms for the duration of the order; and to turn over to your local law enforcement agency any firearm you have, all concealed carry permits you hold, and your Illinois Firearm Owner’s Identification Card. For those of you who don’t live in Illinois, you don’t even want to know what that is.

All of this can be mandated to you without your knowledge it’s happening. Your first inclination something is wrong occurs when the cops show up at your door and they’re not selling tickets to the Policeman’s Ball.

So here’s a bit of advice. If you’re the type of person that begins a sentence with, “You may not want to hear this but…” I’d suggest buying a big plastic bin, loading all your guns in it, and burying them somewhere they’ll never be found. Oh yeah, and cut down on your drinking at Thanksgiving dinner.

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