Never did she imagine the biggest criticism she’d face would be from people who hadn’t even read her work.
Hamilton’s first story, Little Red Riding Hood (Has a Gun), debuted on the NRA site in January. In her new twist on granny’s encounter with the wolf, the old woman isn’t eaten, she’s packing.
“What big teeth you have!” Grandma said, as his fierce jaws came near.
“The better to eat you with!” the wolf threatened.
The wolf leaned in, jaws open wide, then stopped suddenly. Those big ears heard the unmistakable sound of a shotgun’s safety being clicked off. Those big eyes looked down and saw that grandma had a scattergun aimed right at him. He realized that Grandmother hadn’t been backing away from him; she had been moving towards her shotgun to protect herself and her home.
“I don’t think I’ll be eaten today,” said Grandma, “and you won’t be eating anyone again.” Grandma kept her gun trained on the wolf, who was too scared to move.
The wolf couldn’t believe his luck—he had come across two capable ladies in the same day, and they were related! Oh, how he hated when families learned how to protect themselves.
Poor anti-gunners, they just can’t be happy until everyone is a helpless victim – even fictional characters. Oh, and granny didn’t shoot the wolf, either. She and Red tied him up, unharmed.
In her latest edition, Hamilton tackles the classic Hansel and Gretel, and they tackle child predators:
They knew they had to get home to their parents to get help with the witch. Thankfully, the moon was now high enough for its light to highlight the pebbles. Hansel and Gretel found their way back to the path and the four of them got back home as dawn was breaking.
Their parents were overjoyed to see them come home from their hunting trip with meat for the pot, and shocked to hear of their adventure in the witch’s cottage. After reuniting the boys with their parents, it was time to take on the witch…and get some hunting done in the meantime. Villagers, prepared with rifles and pistols, headed into the forest, Hansel and Gretel leading the way.
When they came upon the witch’s cottage, the sheriff locked her into the cage in which the boys had been locked just the night before, to be taken away so she could never harm another child. The sheriff stood guard as the villagers hunted, coming back with more game than they had been able to find in months. There in the woods, the village held a feast.
Again, Hamilton highlights law-abiding gun owners, firearm safety, self reliance and how hunting feeds families – all very admirable qualities in responsible people.
“Most of us probably grew up having fairy tales read to us as we drifted off to sleep,” the editor’s note reads. “But how many times have you thought back and realized just how, well, grim some of them are? Have you ever wondered what those same fairy tales might sound like if the hapless Red Riding Hoods, Hansels and Gretels had been taught about gun safety and how to use firearms?”
“The stories are really also for adults, and it’s all about safety,” Hamilton told CBS This Morning. “It’s for parents to start those conversations.”
Looking to do just that, I had my 11 year old daughter read the original version of Hansel & Gretel, then Hamilton’s updated version.
After asking her what she thought of the new vs old, she simply said, “I think it’s about time these stories were updated. It’s pretty cool to see the victims becoming heroes.”
When I challenged her to identify what she thought people were so upset over in the new version of the classic tale, she responded, “Oh, I’m sure it’s because they had guns because everyone with guns is bad and heaven-forbid anyone show that people can save themselves, right? They would rather have them starving to death in the village so they could become dependent on the government.”
Hamilton’s next installment, “Three Little Pigs (Have Guns)” comes out in May.