You can’t make this stuff up, kids.

WUSA, a CBS affiliate station in Washington, D.C., cunningly credited a herd of brave bovine for helping deputies catch a suspected armed carjacker in Berryville, VA. before mentioning the law-abiding citizens who had armed themselves after hearing of the suspect’s proximity to their farm.

After the Clarke County Sheriff warned Brian Morgan that an “armed and dangerous” suspect, who allegedly carjacked a Loudoun County deputy at gunpoint, had been spotted coming out of the woods at the edge of the Warfield’s farm, Morgan felt compelled to arm himself ‘just in case’.

“I had made a joke,” Morgan said. “I was like, maybe I ought to bring that gun just in case he’s in our backyard.”

Wayne Warfield, along with his brother Shannon and an armed Morgan, were out on the farm around 8 AM when they noticed something was bothering the bovine.

“The cows know something down there that they don’t like. The cows dart into the woods with all their little calves. It was quite the ruckus,” Wayne said.

WUSA reports:

Four hours earlier, a 911 call came in from a Loudoun County deputy who said he’d been carjacked. The deputy told Clarke County Chief Deputy Travis Sumption that he had given the suspect a ride to the J & J Corner Store and Citgo station along Route 7 near Berryville.

After the deputy drove away, he noticed he was missing two cell phones. He turned around and went back to the store and confronting the suspect, Zaxarea Alzanam, who somehow took the deputy’s pistol and then stole his personal vehicle. Alzanam crashed the SUV twice and then took off running through the woods.

That’s when Wayne, Shannon, and Brian saw Alzanam.

“A guy with red shorts and no shirt running straight at this shop,” said Wayne, who had also armed himself along with his brother and Morgan before heading out to work on the farm.

“I come around a turn and he’s like right in front of me. Stopped the truck, got out and pointed the gun at him. Told him to get on the ground,” said Morgan, who was driving a truck toward the fields when he encountered Alzanam.

“He got up on his knees, his arms in the air, and he says, ‘I need help, I need help.’  And we’re like, ‘We already know who you are. Get down on the ground, the cops are on the way!’ He takes off running across the field and he did run with his arms up. He was not armed,” said Wayne.

“It turned out he had ditched his gun in one of the vehicles back at the quarry,” said Morgan. When WUSA asked if that had been the first time he had ever pointed a gun at a person, Morgan responded, “Absolutely. And hoping and praying that I wasn’t going to have to fire it at him.”

“Nobody got hurt. That’s the great outcome of it. Hats off to the law enforcement people ’cause they have to deal with that every day. I hope I never have to deal with it again,” said Wayne.

Although the TV station cheers the cows’ effort, Chief Deputy Sumption credited the armed farmers for taking action, which slowed the suspect down enough for law enforcement to take him into custody.

Oh, and about that suspect?

Alzanam, of Schenectady, N.Y., is a convicted felon. He’s charged with five felonies: carjacking, auto theft, firearm theft, possession of a firearm by a convicted felon, and eluding. He is being held without bond at the Northwest Virginia Regional Adult Detention Center.

Now that’s a load of bull crap.

Watch WUSA’s full report on the story here: