Before a bill proposing campus carry is introduced in the Badger State, students at the University of Wisconsin in Madison are ready to take up arms in protest.

Well, not arms, but a different body part… kind of.

Representative Jesse Kremer of Kewaskum, WI said campus carry is one of several pro-gun initiatives he plans to introduce early in the coming legislative session and is currently working with other Republican lawmakers on a bill to introduce constitutional carry.

“Would it not be more effective to publicize, as other states do, that you don’t know if, or who, will be ready to protect students at a moments notice in a school setting? There is a lot of good in this world, but also evil,” Kremer said regarding his campus carry legislation. “The public must remain vigilant and lawmakers proactive regarding the security and safety of their constituents, especially those who are most vulnerable.”

But in Madison, where the most delicate snowflakes in the state tend to cluster, activists will be arming UW students with dildos “as a method of fighting the absurdity of guns in classrooms,” said sophomore Katherine Kerwin, member of the Associated Students of Madison student council and driving force behind the Madtown mayhem.

“It looks like Republicans in the Legislature are planning to introduce a bill sometime in early January, while we’re still all home,” said Kerwin. “So right now is the time the push needs to come.”

“We actually have 200 sex toys on their way right now. We’re going to be breaking those out as soon as the bill gets introduced.”

Despite the typical outrage from Madison liberals and student snowflakes, lawmakers in the Badger State have had success passing pro-Second Amendment legislation. In 2011, Wisconsin finally passed concealed carry legislation and last year, Governor Scott Walker successfully repealed the archaic 48-hour waiting period on handgun sales.

“They get pressure from the pro-gun lobby to move on some of these really radical and dangerous ideas,” said Jeri Bonavia, executive director of the Wisconsin Anti-Violence Effort (WAVE). “I think they’re doing something to keep their special interests happy rather than the people of Wisconsin.”

Interesting take, but “the people of Wisconsin” inhabit more than the city of Madison and the overwhelming majority of Wisconsinites, including myself, are thrilled with the changes we’ve been able to make in the state despite the constant ignorant rhetoric oozing from the liberals in the general direction of Madison and Milwaukee.

On Wisconsin!