Florida is the epicenter for weird news in this country. So much so that “Florida Man” has taken on a life of its own as people regale one another with tales of bizarre antics from the Sunshine State.
Let’s also give Florida Man his due. If nothing else, the “ideal” Florida Man is creative if nothing else, which might explain how an armless man is accused of stabbing someone.
[Jonathan] Crenshaw, 46, has been a fixture on Miami Beach for years, drawing attention from people walking along trendy Lincoln Road for his colorful painting. Well, that and the fact the homeless man has no arms and paints with his feet.
But shortly after midnight on Tuesday, Crenshaw turned on one of those tourists and stabbed him with a pair of scissors he held with his feet, police said.
Crenshaw told police he was lying on the ground when Cesar Coronado, 22, came up to him and punched him in the head. Coronado and a friend, who were both visiting from Chicago, had a different story, telling police Coronado was asking Crenshaw for directions when he attacked, the Miami Herald reported.
Of course, Crenshaw isn’t the most grounded person. He reportedly claimed that singer Gloria Estefan had given birth to over 200 of his children, for example. Apparently, while he does some interesting artwork, he’s not very good at math.
It sounds like Crenshaw has some severe mental health problems, which might explain the homelessness. It also explains the discrepancy in the stories. While I’m not generally sympathetic to people from Chicago, Coronado’s explanation sounds like the more plausible one considering he had a witness.
I’m not a psychologist, however, and I’m not trying to diagnose Crenshaw.
What I will do is point out that this is probably one of the more bizarre attacks I’ve read about in a while and note that Crenshaw is lucky he attacked someone who wasn’t armed. While scissors aren’t the weapon of choice for most killers, they’re still weapons and have the potential to kill. Crenshaw could have been killed had he tried that with a carrying citizen.
To some, that’s an argument against concealed carry. After all, it looks like Crenshaw is sick.
However, I’ll also note that the Son of Sam was sick too. That didn’t make him any less dangerous to the people of New York, now did it?
While I’d love for everyone to get the mental health treatment they need, the reality is that some won’t. While this isn’t any of my business ordinarily, it becomes my business when those people become a threat to others. Crenshaw became just that.
For what it’s worth, I’m not the only one who believes Coronado’s story. The police have arrested Crenshaw for aggravated assault and are holding him on $7,500 bond.
I hope that they can also get him some mental health treatment, though the actual benefits of such a thing are likely to be minimal. You can’t help those who don’t want help.