As a native Georgian, I grew up telling jokes about Alabama. While I’ve got family and friends in the state, those jokes have always been part of our regional makeup. I mean, there had to be a reason all the trees on Georgia’s western border lean to the west, right? Well, it’s because Alabama sucks.
I kid, though. I actually enjoy visiting the state and do so not nearly often enough.
Yet all those jokes came flooding back to my head when I read this story:
An Alabama man was shot by his wife’s boyfriend, who was secretly living in the couple’s home, officials said.
The Mobile County Sheriff’s Office said the wife told her husband that an “intruder” was in their Creola home Sunday night and he armed himself with a gun, WPMI reported. The men shot each other and both went to the hospital, the news outlet reported.
The sheriff’s office said Michael Amacker, the wife’s boyfriend for over a year, had been living at the house shortly before the shooting, WALA reported.
In other words, the wife had been letting her boyfriend live with her and her husband for a little while. She was even slipping him some food. He’d been there long enough to have several urine-filled bottles as well.
How did this not happen in Florida?
Seriously, while all of those jokes about Alabama I heard growing up returned to me, this is not what we joked about. This is too bizarre for any of that.
So far, authorities haven’t uncovered a motive for the wife to tell the husband that the boyfriend was an intruder. That’s because she was too intoxicated to be interviewed at the time.
Now that sounds more like some of those jokes from the past.
Anyway, while both men were shot, the boyfriend is the one facing charges including attempted murder, possession of a firearm with an altered serial number, and possession of a controlled substance.
Frankly, I feel bad for the guy. Not only was his wife sleeping around, but she moved the dude into his own home under his nose, and got away with it for several days at least. She probably could have gotten away with it even longer if she didn’t claim there was an intruder, but alas, all crazy things must come to an end.
His getting shot is actually the least of it in some ways. While it’s painful and will require treatment and possibly rehab, at least it won’t make him the butt of a lot of his buddies’ jokes. The rest of the story probably will.
Yet this is a reminder of why it’s generally a better idea to call the police about intruders than to try and clear your home yourself.
Regardless, though, this is one of those stories for the ages. You just can’t make up something like this. And really, why would you want to?
For the readers in Alabama, please understand that I know the rest of you are better than this.
For Florida readers, you guys need to step up your game. This trio in Alabama is ripping off your state’s schtick.