There will probably always be anti-gunners. They’ll always want gun control and there’s literally nothing that will change their mind.
They have that right.
Additionally, they also have the right to try and write our side satirically. However, when they don’t know the topic well enough, you get crap like this:
The Illinois General Assembly appears to be on the verge of passing legislation that would ban the private possession of assault weapons in our state.
I used to be adamantly in favor of assault weapons bans. I figured that no one needed to own a machine gun unless they intended to kill large numbers of human beings.
But then I saw a movie that completely changed my mind. It was a movie about the zombie apocalypse. Swarms of zombies were marauding through the city. Well, they weren’t exactly marauding. At the pace they were moving, it was more like they were sleepwalking. But there were millions of zombies coming from all directions, converging on law-abing, God-fearing Americans who didn’t have a prayer of surviving because they were so woefully underarmed.
But if these upstanding citizens had the freedom to stock up on machine guns without interference from busybody Big Brother (as our founding fathers so clearly mandated when they wrote the Second Amendment), they might have had a fighting chance. It’s true that they would have had to shoot each zombie enough times to blow each of their heads clean off. But how can anyone hope to do that if they don’t have several machine guns on hand?
And the day that the federal government neuters us all by confiscating our machine gun stashes will be the day that the zombie apocalypse will begin. You know how zombies are. All they care about is eating brains and they’ll satisfy their appetites by any means necessary. They’re so opportunistic and conniving. Like all vicious predators, they pounce when they sense weakness. So when the zombies know that we’re all unable to effectively defend ourselves against them, that’s when they’ll attack. Like the visionary Ronald Reagan said, “Peace through strength.”
I guess this is what passes for clever satire among the anti-gun left?
Oh, I get the joke. I understand perfectly what the author is trying to do. He’s trying to reframe some pro-gun arguments in a way that makes it look especially ridiculous.
Too bad that his basic premise–that we don’t want to give up our machine guns–is fatally flawed.
As we all know, machine guns are already tightly controlled. Very tightly controlled. While they can be bought, the fact that they have to have been built prior to 1986 drives the price up so that even if you can get approval for one, your bank account may well disapprove of you getting such a weapon.
Machine guns aren’t being discussed in Illinois.
Now, one could forgive an anti-gun author for not knowing that so-called assault weapons aren’t actually machine guns. An actual assault rifle is capable of full-auto fire, after all, so there is a legitimate point of confusion, but that’s not what’s being discussed in Illinois. There, they want to ban “assault weapons.”
So the author is so sure of himself and his knowledge that he pens a satire piece mocking us and our desire to have “machine guns” without recognizing that absolutely nothing being discussed pertains to actual full-auto-capable firearms.
And yet, I’m sure he thinks he’s well-versed enough on the subject to have an opinion that’s more valid than those of us who actually understand firearms.
But hey, if he wants to be a joke, who am I to stop him?