Woman Fires Gun, Sends Throat-Slashing Psycho Running for His Life

“I’ll kill my targets tonight.”

Alleged throat-slitting psycho Ronald Kaehne was charged with two counts of attempted first degree homicide after the slasher murders he’s planned in his journal didn’t go quite the way he’d hoped, and he was forced to flee or his life before he could kill his intended victims.


Kaehne targeted the home because it looked like it did not have many occupant. He entered through a window, which he propped open with canisters, and stood in the bedroom of a man and woman for about 40 minutes before the man woke up.

A struggle between Kaehne and the man ensued, during which the woman woke up and Kaehne sliced the man’s throat.

The woman yelled that she had a gun before firing a shot at Kaehne, who fled through a window.

Footprints in the snow led officers to Kaehne’s home, where they took him into custody and discovered the journal.

“I’ll kill my targets tonight,” reads one entry made the day before the break-in.

“I’m thinking of trailing the blood out to the driveway to implicate a car. I failed; both are alive,” read a second entry made after the incident and before Kaehne’s arrest, according to the complaint.

Police were easily able to track Kaehne back to his home through the tracks his feet left in the snow. Once officers arrested him and asked him why he attacked his victims, he explained that his father was a killer, and he wanted to know if he was a killer too.


Dale Parker, the victim of the attack, suffered relatively minor wounds and likely owes his life to the fact that his girlfriend had a weapon and opened fire on Kaehne.

I’m sure that some of you will immediately state that the girlfriend needs more practice, but I’m presently unaware of any firearms self-defense classes that teach you how to emerge from a dead sleep and shoot accuracy against your friendly neighborhood Michael Myers.

While she missed Kaehne, she did force him to leave and save Parker’s life.

In the end, that’s what matters most.

As for Kaehne, I see an insanity defense in his future, and possibly some creepy music.

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