Kelly Sutliff, Domestic Violence Survivor and ‘Red Flag’ Victim

A December 2019 attack left Kelly Sutliff victimized by her attacker and New Jersey’s system. After almost being murdered, Sutliff had to fight to get her Second Amendment right back.

After confronting her then-husband over what Sutliff described as “disgusting” messages, things went south. Kelly Sutliff never thought there were any issues with her relationship, although there were what she describes as “pink flags,” her life went upside down in one day. Not only was Sutliff almost murdered, she had to suffer family court, restraining orders, getting wrongfully “red flagged” and disarmed, a divorce, and pressing charges via the criminal justice system before she eventually clawed her rights back from New Jersey.

The Confrontation

Sutliff said that she never looked in her now ex-husband’s phone as a habit. However, on the morning of Dec. 16, 2019, something was telling her: “Look in his phone.” Sutliff explained it was the way he fell asleep with it in his hand and how it looked “really funny.”

“Looking in his phone, I found all these really disgusting messages with another woman,” Sutliff told Bearing Arms. “(At) that moment, I thought to myself … I was a fan of true crime before I became a member of the true crime community myself, and I'd watched enough true crime to know … you don't know who you might be married to. That thought kept going through my head.”

What Sutliff did not know at the time was that she was about to enter into her own “true crime” saga.

Sutliff read the messages to her ex, she said he did not say a word. That day, she worked hard to keep her distance from him. He also kept trying to get her to leave the house, for whatever reason. Eventually he asked her if she was going to leave him.

Decision to Leave Her Husband

“I had made the decision by that point that I was, and I have to be honest with you, John, I think that's what sealed my death warrant,” she explained. “I'm not aware that I'm poking a wolf in sheep's clothing. I didn't realize by telling him that I was leaving that my relationship could potentially get abusive and dangerous.”

Chris, Sutliff’s ex, kept antagonizing her, trying to get her to hit him. That’s when she told him that she was in “emotional pain,” not physical pain. “I would take my gun and shoot myself before I ever lay a hand on you,” she hyperbolically told him.

Sutliff’s story takes another turn after a series of phone calls. She was confiding in a close friend of hers, Christina, about what happened and also what she told him. During that call, Sutliff’s ex was on the other line trying to reach Christina too.

“Chris says to her, ‘Kelly just said she's going to shoot me with the gun.’ Now Christine knows I didn't say that, so she calls me back,” Sutliff said.

Once she hung up, she took her firearm and drove it over to her sister’s house for safe keeping and to ensure her ex could not get it (which is a felony in New Jersey due to possession laws).

Things Got Kinetic

Upon returning home, Sutliff said that her ex got in her face and said: "Thanks so much for always having the ID channel on, because now I'm gonna make this look like you tried to murder me."

That’s when the attacks started.

“My house was in mint condition, and in 45 minutes, he did $63,000 worth of damage to my home, assaulted me multiple times,” Sutliff said. “He strangled me three separate times that night. He threw my head through a sheetrock wall where I lost consciousness. He then threw me in the bedside table where I once again lost consciousness. He held a military knife to my throat, and he also pried my mouth open and tried to get me to swallow a bottle of Xanax to get me to kill myself.”

Sutliff made her own eventual escape and was able to call the police from a neighbor’s house.

“When I was at my neighbor's house, I could see Chris in the bay window smearing his blood all over,” she said. “Because that's the other thing Chris was doing. He was purposely cutting himself deeper throughout that 45 minutes and smearing blood all over the house.”

She did, however, return to her home in order to get her dog from the shattered house.

“I'm not advocating for anyone to ever run back into a dangerous situation, but both my parents are deceased. I have a very small family. That dog meant everything to me,” Sutliff confided. “I was not going to let him put a hand on my dog, so I wiggled myself out of my neighbor's arms.

“I ran back into the house, and by the grace of God, my smart dog must have stayed at the top step of the basement. I think when Chris opened the basement door, my dog went out, and it really was divine timing. I ran in probably at that exact time, and I was able to grab Chester, put him into the office, and barricade Chris in the basement.

“The police came literally two seconds later, barreling through my front door, and that's how I'm here today.”

The Aftermath

What transpired in the aftermath was an ordeal that stretched from December 2019 to July 2026.

Sutliff applied for a temporary restraining order after the attacks. There were a lot of procedural things going on all at once: Getting immediate protection and that TRO secured, applying for a final restraining order, starting the divorce proceedings, and cooperating with the criminal investigation against her then husband.

About a month and a half post incident, the final restraining order hearing was approaching. That’s when Sutliff got troubling news.

“Chris goes to the Morris County Prosecutor's Office right before closing, literally right before 5 o'clock, and basically says that I'm a danger to myself, I'm a danger to other people,” Sutliff said. “(He said that) I'm a drug addict. I'm an alcoholic. I have severe mental health issues, and I have a high-capacity magazine.”

Sutliff was red-flagged by her ex well over a month after he almost murdered her because she was “a danger.”

The Police Disarmed Her

“I am the first domestic violence victim/survivor in the State of New Jersey, to have their gun taken away,” she explained. “So, Chris used the red flag law against me. Basically, I believe to disarm me, to render me completely defenseless, because after that, all the stalking occurred.”

How did this affect Sutliff? She said that having her gun taken away from her was the most traumatic thing that happened.

“In that moment, I realized the system that I thought was designed to protect people who were in my situation is not doing that, and it's dead,” she added. “It's punishing me.”

Surrendering at a Hearing

Sutliff had some choices to make. If she applied for the final restraining order and it ended up getting denied, it could have looked bad in the criminal case against Chris.

“When I was red-flagged and had my gun taken away, I realized he could use the law against me,” Sutliff explained. “I ended up dropping that restraining order. He got what he wanted.”

With her own issues in the legal system, Sutliff ended up surrendering more. At her eventual red flag hearing, she folded.

“I went to the court hearing and I just said, ‘Take my gun, fine. Take it. And take my FID card,’” she said. “And I just let it go. I couldn't fight for it back. I couldn't do that whole thing.”

The Guilty Plea

Sutliff’s victimization did not end there. In October 2022, her ex pled guilty to a number of different charges: Aggravated assault by strangulation, criminal mischief, and possession of a deadly weapon.

“He was sentenced to three years probation. Probation,” Sutliff scoffed. “The man never served one second in jail throughout this entire process. And then in October of 2023, he dragged out the criminal trial as well as the divorce, he finally agreed to divorce me.”

A New Life

With her own legal issues and divorce in the rearview, Sutliff was able to make kind of a fresh start with her life. In 2024, Sutliff founded a 501(c)(3) nonprofit named Kelly’s K9’s, Tails of Courage.

From its mission statement:

“Kelly’s K9’s, Tails of Courage restores physical and emotional safety, promotes healing, and empowers survivors of domestic violence and their families. We provide trained canines to domestic violence survivors for protection and emotional support, in order to foster their independence, build their resilience, and renew their self-worth.”

Being left completely disarmed, Sutliff turned to her dog for self-protection. The organization sprouted to fulfill both security and emotional needs.

On May 5, 2025, on Investigation Discovery, “Sleeping with a Stranger” aired. The first episode of Toxic featured Sutliff’s story. During the episode viewers hear from Sutliff, witnesses, friends, and responding officers.

Not long after the show came out, Sutliff got a message from Michael Sodini from Walk the Talk America. Sutliff agreed to be on Sodini’s podcast to discuss her story. She and Sodini eventually became good friends, Sutliff said.

Reapplying For Her Firearms License

“He (Sodini) and I got talking, and he said, ‘Listen, I really think you need to reapply,’” Sutliff said. “I knew when I surrendered my FID card, it was for that card that there was nothing in writing ever saying: ‘Kelly, you can never have another FID card again, or or a firearm.’ But I was also told that it might not ever happen for me again. (I thought): Do I want to go through this fight again?”

A fight it was. When the Morris County Prosecutor's office got wind of her new application, Sutliff said they were not happy and they did not want her to get her right back.

“Last year, maybe I guess 30 days later, they didn't deny me, but they came back and said, ‘We're gonna table your application. We want you to get a psychiatric evaluation, and you have to overturn the TERPO (temporary extreme risk protective order),’” Sutliff recounted. She then called New Jersey firearms attorney Evan Nappen and “lawyered up.”

“He was horrified at what the system did to me,” she said. “And Evan rescinded my original application, and Evan basically explained, ‘Listen, I have no problem with you getting the psychological, but what I do have a problem with is this overturning of the TERPO. The TERPO was dismissed. There is no TERPO. What are we overturning?’"

Sutliff jumped through the necessary hoops. The psychological evaluation took months and was a “really expensive process.”

In July 2026, Sutliff was finally reissued her New Jersey firearms purchaser identification card.

In Retrospect

The ordeal left Sutliff reeling. She had quite a bit of advice for people who might find themselves similarly situated. Trusting one’s gut was at the top of her list. Also, if someone does have to exit from a relationship, have a plan. Leaving is the most dangerous time.

And, never give up, there’s always light at the end of the tunnel, she said.

“We have to do what we have to do to protect ourselves,” Sutliff admitted. “When my gun was taken away from me, someone said to me, ‘I think you need a protection dog,’ and I went out and I bought my first protection dog, Stella. That has now become my life, and obviously I have the nonprofit, and I now provide other survivors with trained protection dogs, but I think you know as a woman we need to do whatever we need to do to protect ourselves.”

A Broken System?

Sutliff’s harrowing story is just one of many involving survivors of domestic violence. Throughout the process, she said other women reached out to her about systems — such as red flag or extreme risk protective order laws — being weaponized against them. She said other women, also from Morris County, are going through similar issues with having had their firearms confiscated as well.

Society was sold systems and laws designed to protect the vulnerable and according to Sutliff, they’ve failed. Although, her story has a happy ending. Her traumatic journey to get to this point did not kill her — but it could have.

If you’d like to tune into the entire interview with Kelly Sutliff, you can check that out HERE or in the embed below. You can find Kelly online at KellysK9s.org or RealTalkWithKelly.org. Links to all of Kelly’s socials can be found at those websites.

Are you or someone you know experiencing domestic violence and need help? There are resources available. The National Domestic Violence Hotline can be reached at 1-800-799-7233 and found online at TheHotline.org

Editor’s Note: The radical Left will stop at nothing to enact their extreme gun control agenda and strip us of our Second Amendment rights.

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