How to Talk to Your Spouse About Guns
Maybe you don’t have this problem but it exist for many men that decide to become gun owners. Some have changed their minds after seeing the threat level increase in their area. Some have decided it was better to purchase a firearm while they were still able. Some have always been involved in the shooting sports but recently married or “hooked up,” with a person that is not. I want to share with you a few tips and words of encouragement.
My advice is not absolute, as anything dealing with people is not. We are complex creatures but “nothing is new under the sun.” You don’t have to fear the unknown because getting your spouse to reconsider and share this part of your life has been done before. Just like relationships, gun control is not new. It is used to control people, households, raise money and change elections.
I said this will be encouragement earlier because despite what the anti-rights people preach and the media reports the facts are on our side. The keys to conveying these in your household are patience, persistence, and good communication.
Whatever element in the gun community you are a part of (competitor, self defense advocate/concealed carry, collector, hunter, recreational shooter, combo/etc) you have figure out how to best share that with your spouse. You have to do this with the same love and patience required sometimes that it took to get into the relationship. People are not robots and you cannot instantly reprogram them from all the garbage they have consumed.
Be persistent like a dripping faucet to educate and demonstrate the facts when the TV isn’t on. You have to communicate this so that there is an understanding. Believe it or not, you have the upper hand because your spouse wants to understand you. They want your approval. They already know some of your flaws. They love you enough to live with you. If you can communicate correctly you will win.
But you have to allow for the learning, and be prepared for the discussion. You will hear all of the sound bytes of the enemies of freedom repeated. Fight the urge to call their sources stupid, belittle or do anything negative despite how the oppositions sound. For some of you it will not be that difficult. With other couples it may take awhile. And unfortunately there are a small number of people you will talk to that will never come over to our side. For example, if you are dealing with someone that has lost someone to violence you have a 50% chance of never getting them to agree. The mother that has lost a child, a person that had a sibling murdered by a gang, the drug war or that committed suicide may not ever listen. For everyone else you have a good chance.
The truth is that there is no such thing as gun violence, just violence. Words play an important part of the conversation. Perception can be changed by relationships, and education. Realize also that some times we are not the best instructors. A women’s only class for new shooters for example have saved many households. Training courses made with couples in mind have been positive. If you aren’t the person that can teach your spouse how to drive, you might not want to be the one that introduces them to firearms either. You can however be compassionate, be persistent and loving in this endeavor enough so that your spouse decides to trust you and try. That is more than half the battle. Most of the time, it’s up to you to win or lose this one.