I wasn't aware of it, but it seems that a recent mass murder--an arson committed by a machete-wielding maniac--in the country has some people considering what they can do to protect themselves. That's the good news.

The bad news? Well....let's let Vodkapundit himself, Stephen Green, tell you over at our sister site, PJ Media.

Call me old-fashioned, but the first thing I think of when confronted by a machete-wielding madman is how glad I am that my wife and I both have our concealed carry permits. Then I picture one or both of us going Full Indiana Jones on the madman.

But this is America, where we don't have a whole lot of extra time to waste trying to talk madmen out of their machetes or scimitars or whatever.

Firearms being largely verboten in Germany, one doctor has come up with a surefire way to defend yourself against bad guys with big knives, but it only works if you're a real hoopy frood who knows where your towel is.

The towel-snapping technique is 100% guaranteed to almost work, provided your attacker is a frightened woman with a fake knife who doesn't really want to cut you. Also, you have to carry a towel with you everywhere. 

That's...pathetic. 

It's absolutely pathetic.

Yes, it's working in the classroom environment we see here, but that's because the "attacker" isn't particularly determined. They don't want the supposed instructor's head on a literal pike.

So yeah, it'll work in that context. Sort of.

It would right up until the attacker snatches the towel from him and uses it to muffle his screaming as he hacks the instructor to death, assuming he even bothers with the machete or knife at that point and doesn't just beat them to death instead.

Here, we shoot them in the face as God and John Moses Browning intended. That's how it should be and that's how it is here. In Germany, they're left trying to figure out what they can do because, frankly, they're so defenseless otherwise. They're grasping at straws and this is what happens when a towel is all that is left to you.

Germany accepted peaceful slavery. Their masters have told them what they have available and it's nothing that can threaten them. They're largely a non-violent country and would remain so without any gun laws to speak of, but they gave up their right to defend themselves because bad people might do something bad at some point.

Here, I'll take the risk knowing that I can put an end to the threat.

Here, we can use the towel to clean up what's left of the bad guy.

Don't get it twisted. I prefer peaceful liberty to all other options, but if peace is only to be had should I forfeit my rights, then I choose the alternative. I'd rather have an exciting time briefly than an eternity on my knees because I could do nothing else.

A towel might actually work against some street thug who just wants your wallet.

Or it might not.

A gun will work on anything.

Of course, as Stephen alluded to, if you end up hitchhiking across the galaxy, a towel might be the better bet. Then, stick to your towel.

Ortherwise, get a gun, know how to use it, and get used to the idea of ending an animal's life. Two-legged or four-legged makes no difference.